Video store clerk: I'm going to need a driver's license to give you a rental card.

Me: Shoot. I don't have one.

Clerk: That's okay. What else do you have?

Me: Let's see. (Rifling.) What about a napkin with a 63-year-old anesthesiologist's phone number on it whose name is Knut but said I should call him "c--t"?

(Silence. An exchange of meaningful looks.)

Clerk: Yeah. I think that should work.