the young waiter tells the two attractive women in their mid-30s being seated in the far back corner of the garden atrium at the Waverly Inn restaurant, a section increasingly known as "Siberia" by anyone who's ever dined there. "It's not you, it's us."

Hot air is streaming in from the kitchen, where the staff can be heard noisily clanging back and forth, and it's suddenly all very clear: These women are nobodies.

Still, it could be worse. Also stuck in Siberia is "Saturday Night Live" alum Jimmy Fallon, who walked into the Village restaurant with a flourish of hugs and handshakes for everyone in sight.

Now he's parked in Nowheresville with several pals, while current "SNL" star Maya Rudolph has been granted a sweet spot in the main dining room, not too far from current A-list guest of honor Gwyneth Paltrow.

Welcome, celebrity watchers, to the brutally Darwinian world of the Waverly Inn.