No matter who won the House or the Senate, all is right with the world. For Britney Spears has finally filed for divorce from Kevin Federline.

If you're quiet, you can almost hear warring factions in the red states and the blue states and the super fabulous pink states. They're saying, "You go, girl!" or "You didn't look that bad on 'Letterman' last night!" or "You've finally left that untalented guy with all the sperm!"

For this is the kind of momentous news the United States of Those Who Are Not Kevin Federline's Children has long been waiting for.