Oh how delightful to name Donald Trump's future spawn Jesus Christ.

And yes, I did ask Don LaFontaine to record my new voicemail greeting.

In more pressing news, if you caught me at Sputnik on Wednesday, I want to reiterate. No matter how many times a man says it, skullfucking just gets more and more romantic every time I hear it. Especially in that one De Beers commercial. Skullfuck her again like the very first time. De Beers.

Speaking of the future, a director who forgot to tell me he was married told me what may be the best line of a script ever written.

"Welcome to the '90s, motherfucker."

That will now be in everything I write from this point forward.