I learned something disheartening recently. It disheartened me. I guess we covered that. I thought about how I don't trust people, especially the saccharine ones. I thought about how I'm probably justified in that. I thought about avoiding relationships altogether. I thought about that Johnny Cash song about Sundays. I thought about that Boomtown Rats song about Mondays. I thought about the catchy syncopation in the Addams Family rap.

Then I thought some more. I thought about that awesome refrigerator box that we made into an elaborate cruise ship in the backyard when I was a kid. I thought about going on a peace march three years ago and the chants devolving into, "Peace meoooow." I thought about how I bought Hannakuh candy for the Jewish family on my paper route when I was 13. I thought about how I once wore a white styrofoam block on my head when I was 7, declared myself "Chinese Santa Claus," and gave all the neighborhood kids pennies. I thought about trying to sell that Muppets puzzle with the missing piece for $5 out of my lemonade cart. I thought about the first real relationship I ever had based entirely on "Kids in the Hall" and the Beatles. I thought about coining the term "hippie-crite" to yell at my parents. I thought about drinking Boone's Strawberry Hill on suspension bridge in high school. I thought about going geocaching for the first time last week. I thought about the "Shaq" episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm." I thought about the sign on the Subway in Wisconsin that said, "We now have cucumbers." I thought about drawing a picture of a couple in love on the train and giving it to the girl when the boy got off at his stop. I thought about my granddad's third wife with her bad wig and thick unidentifiable accent giving us hair products and offering to take us to Palm Springs. I thought about the ducks that made Tony Soprano happy. I thought about my 90-year-old great aunt asking, "Are you going to the invention museum? Adventure museum? What is it?" I thought about one of my favorite scenes from "Annie Hall"...

It was great seeing Annie again, and I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her, and I thought of that old joke, you know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'Well, why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but uh, I guess we keep going through it...because...most of us need the eggs.

And I have to say, it heartened me. I felt heartened.